If you've been directed here (and you're a man)...

2005-06-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

Hallo. Allow us to explain this site and why you, personally, have been directed here.

You were probably directed here by a ladyfriend, possibly someone you only went on one date with, not necessarily recently. It could even be a friend.

There are many things girls have wanted to tell you during dates, but are fearful of ruining the moment or being considered nuts or bitchy. . .

You may recently, or in the past, or in the near future, have tried to get a woman you are dating to have sex. (probably the main reason you were sent to us.) Thats no surprise. Women and men like sex. However, when girls try to wait a little, so that we get to know you better, we are often misunderstood. You should learn that when we let you into our bodies, it's often emotional even if we don't say it and we hope it will become part of a relationship. Finding someone we trust and love and want to have sex with is hard, but once we do, we want to have sex with you again and again

but
there has been a recent spate of situations where women are misinterpreted as uninterested, frigid, or prudish if they act standoffish on initial dates when you try to encourage sex Is it horrible to know someone for at least just a few weeks first? If we act unemotional or standoffish, it is not because we don't want to do you, and its also not because we're cold or have intimacy issues, or because we've been hurt. No matter what we say, many times, we need a little evidence that you won't "disappear" on us afteward, and no, your word or all the nice things you said to us on a first date are not good enough. Won't you want to know us a little better (at least, more than a few weeks) before being naked inside of us?

Plus, the sex will be much better if we like you and trust you. Letting you into our body is better and easier if we're really excited about it. (we need to open up and get excited for you. think about it. Hey hope that didnt turn you on)

But we often can't express it on our dates, I mean, look how many words it took right here! It would kill the mood and make us seem even more frigid than before. Besides, sometimes you only invite us back to your apt. rather than specifically saying "let's have sex." So these things are hard to say.

acting as if you're interested in someone for a relationship, having sex, and then never seeing them again IS hurtful. It's not that you always intend to be hurtful and I know that sometimes boys really feel into someone until they have died on the vine.

That's another reason we want to get to know you better first. Are you going to stick around? Only a few dates will tell (or make us feel less used, at least)

yYou may be spoiled from other girls. Sometimes it takes work to get to know someone. You're not always going to lie back and be serviced. Not until after the movies, anyway.

and yes, some women like having sex with a guy but most of us would like to not end up feeling used right afterward. And the feeling of waiting day after day for the phone or mail is hurtful.

HAVE PATIENCE. Instead of 'can I stay', it can be 'I've wanted to do that for a long time.'

We wrote this together on behalf of those girls who are tired of this rollercoaster...going on dates, having almost-relationships fail, then trying to behave as if you never were hurt, while at the same time protect ourselves.

The solution is to wait for just a few dates...is that so bad? Fellows, if you're single, that means you haven't been getting so much sex sometimes either. So be calm about it.

More posts to come at other dates. (And girls, feel free to share your own things below that you want to tell men without seeming like a bitch or "nuts." That's why this is here.)

- Jezz & LD

You poor, poor 'nice guys'

2005-05-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

We just read a blog by a man who claims he is writing a book to help "nice guys" get laid. One thing we know is that the "nice guys" who always complain about not getting laid are usually not nice guys. If they were, they wouldn't be so focused on "getting laid" and would actually complain about not having a girlfriend. Now, that is a nice guy. Plus, nice is more than paying for dinner. It means being respectful of other people too.

Also, dudes believe that when they are nice, it is SUCH an accomplishment for them to be a "nice guy" that they deserve every woman they want to fall in love with them. As if women arent as complex in their needs and desires as men can be. How come I never hear a chick saying, "Why don't men like me? I'm a nice girl." I'm sure we'd all laugh in her face. And god forbid if she was ugly.

When women are sensitive and nice, men take it for granted. How come men never put "nice" on their list of requirements for a girlfriend? It's because they just assume women are going to be nice. But women on the other hand have to consider that a nice guy is a rarity.

If you are nice and you are not "getting laid," it is undoubtedly not because you are nice. It is because of the many other reasons why its sometimes hard for people to get together. Take some responsibility for it and figure out how to make yourself a more enjoyable person to be with and you will get chicks.

Attention, men...

If you've been directed here (and you're a man)...

You poor, poor 'nice guys'